I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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