help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
