Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i dont even know how to be here
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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