UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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