i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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