even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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