Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There r osticjed everywhere
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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