Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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