took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
