Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
