I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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