i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
