is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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