Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
