my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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