marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize