i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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