it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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