In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
