ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She said her name was "party"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
