Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
