He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
