Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize