Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
