found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Its about making memories worth repressing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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