I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
