Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
