Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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