one two three fourrrrnication!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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