In the future we'll all be gay
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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