He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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