i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
