OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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