Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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