I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
