Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
