If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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