Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
