Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
