I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
