The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize