he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
