Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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