friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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