I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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