Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
