So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
