three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
