yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
