remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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