all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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