Is it because I queefed?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
