If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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