were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
