you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
