Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i don't like sucking hair
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
