Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
