How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I love having hate sex.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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