Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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