I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
