Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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