just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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